5 Ways To Prove A Twilighter Wrong
by HarryPotterHedgehog
Summary: I found this on a Gaia Online forum. No, I don't have an account. Not really all that long, there are some comments by other people at the end. Enjoy!


**They're everywhere. Forums about how Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Oh, the opinions I must fix…**

**Backing up: I actually do Google "reasons why Twilight is better than Harry Potter" Why? Because I'm bored, I hate Twilight, I hate the way many of the fans act, and I love Harry Potter. I think those are reasons enough, personally.**

**Point number two: It's becoming increasingly difficult to find post about how THP, because I often find them in reverse. HPT.**

**I found a lovely post, however, on Gaia Online. What a confused soul. Scratch that, it isn't lovely. This person actually really pissed me off with their ignorance.**

**At the end of my third rant so far, I'll post some comments by other people on their opinions. Should be fun! Without further ado, I present to you:**

**5 Ways To Prove a Twilighter Wrong**

**the main female character is so much more relatable. i mean, the main female character in harry potter is hermione: she's a mudblood witch who's still at the top of her class. but how could she be if she's a mudblood? her family had no magical history so how could she know anything about magic going into hogwarts? if she didn't know anything about magic before hand then how could she possibly be good at it? plothole.  
**

Seeing as Harry Potter is geared towards both guys _and_ girls, it shouldn't matter who the main female character is. Hermione is not the main character, she's one of the main supporting characters, but the series is about _Harry_. She didn't know anything about magic before going into Hogwarts, but she studied really hard and continues to study hard, which if you'll notice, usually works out well for people. It isn't a plot hole, and the way I see it, you just tried to make it look like you knew about the series by informing everyone that Hermione is Muggle-born, but you obviously didn't know anything about it.

**twilight is much more realistic. come on, an infant baby surviving a mass murder? that would never happen. and if there was a giant magical castle in the middle of nowhere in scotland, don't you think it would stick out like a sore thumb? i personally think there really could be vampires disguising themselves as humans, i mean who would know for sure? that's right, you wouldn't.  
**

Again, if you bothered to read the books, you'd know that Lily Potter gave her son her life as protection. You'd also know that Hogwarts is concealed by enchantments. And the Cullens didn't do a very good job at disguising themselves, seeing as they had abnormal eye and skin color, as well as acting very oddly. And a baby being birthed off of dead sperm? That would never happen.

*[Oddly enough, I keep coming back to Edward's demented sperm. Maybe because I find it so hard to believe that he really is a male…]

**twilight is so much easier to understand. i can read it without having to use a dictionary. DURHURR JKR SHOULD STOP RAPING HER THESAURUS. seriously, how does she expect people to know words like "lumos" or "expelliarmus" without looking them up? they're all based on ancient greek. no one speaks that.**

I'm pretty sure Stephenie Meyer is the thesaurus-rapist. It's actually a miracle I can understand what you're saying, seeing how your grammar is just as bad as the rest of the Twihards. Excerpt from Twilight:

"I'd never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated façade"

"He sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movement, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart"

Now. JK Rowling does use a lot of descriptive words, which is generally suggested for third-person fantasy writing. On the other hand, Stephenie Meyer is writing this flowery crap in first person. Nobody under 3000 years old talks like this anymore. No one knows what words like "lumos" or "expelliarmus" mean because they aren't being used as words, or over-used adjectives and adverbs. They are _spells_, nonsense words. You wouldn't find lumos or expelliarmus in a dictionary either, you idiot.

**there's no love or emotion in harry potter. it's all just fighting and chaos all the time. when you read twilight you can feel the things bella is feeling. you feel her pain when edward leaves her and you can feel her fierce love for her daughter. you feel no love in harry potter, they characters are too focused on intellect instead of feelings. and the relationships all come out of nowhere. ron and hermione? where the ******** did that come from? there was no previous evidence for their relationship; rowling only did it for closure of the series.**

You. Are. An. Idiot. Didn't read the books, 'nuff said, there is plenty of emotion and love in HP. There's really only 5 major fight scenes throughout the entire book:

GOF: The Graveyard

OOTP: Ministry

HBP: When Dumbledore dies

TDH: The flight to Tonk's parent's house

TDH: The Battle at Hogwarts

Of course we could feel her pain; she only monologued about this freakin' hole in her chest for 20 pages or so. She focused on her love of her daughter for about half a page, then Edward kissed her and Renesmee is ignored for the rest of the book. Ron and Hermione was a very delicately done relationship, and it wasn't done for closure, as the book could've proceeded either way. References of them having a relationship is mentioned as early as the third book.

**twilight is like a modern day romeo and juliet. i haven't read the play but i've seen the movies and there are so many similarities. is harry potter based off of classic literature? no. if it has no basis then how can the idea be good?**

Why does a book have to be based off of a classic for it to be good? And it really isn't like Romeo and Juliet, because their families don't hate each other. Harry Potter isn't based off of classic literature, it _is_ classic literature. Old, no. But in twenty years, people aren't going to be squealing over Edward. Will they be discussing Harry Potter? Probably. It's made it almost 15 years in this world, and still going strong.

**Well, that's all for now. I'd like to give this person a good slap. Someone said on this forum "No one gives a s*** about Twilight", here's what the author said…**

"**uhh obviously i love twilight and everyone who has an ounce of intelligense does too"**

**Really? An ounce of intelligense? You're a smarty, aren't you?**

**More quotes! I'll stop commenting . Unless, of course, it's pro-Twilight. I'll smash it like my five-year-old sister breaks ornaments at Christmas. **

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."

"Uh...Sure. Since most of Twilight's characters are 1-dimensional seem to give no connection to the crowd. It only appeals for the squealing mass of fans who like boyfriends who are the abusive, stalking, manipulative-type...Harry Potter has so much time to flush out their characters and make them 3 Dimensional. Comparable to how Peter Jackson used 3 films to flush all the characters in Lord of the Rings. What's wrong with using the dictionary? The writer of Harry Potter isn't being repetitive like Meyer in her writing...How dare you compare Twilight to _Romeo and Juliet_? Yeah, it was referenced in New Moon, but they are nothing close to Shakespeare's writing... Plus the Message of Romeo and Juliet is cleaner then what Twilight has to offer..."

"Did you just compare Twishit to Romeo and Juliette? I understand you're a little girl, you think Twishit is awesome. And...Did you just say there is no love in Harry Potter? You need to watch the movies or read the books. There is a ton of romance in the movies. What about in Twilight, it's so unrealistic also. Vampires going out in the day? Sparkling? Playing Family games? Not Drinking Human blood? come on, these are panzies, not vampires. And Jacob is not a werewolf, he is an over sized dog. Why does he run on 4 legs? Werewolves run on two legs. Point being. Twilight is s**t."

excuse me while i shoot down these reasons one by one.

1. Hermione is only skilled and intelligent because she read all of her textbooks cover to cover a bunch of times before the term actually started. after that she spent alot of time in the library studying and working hard to be where she is. unlike bella she isn't a mary-sue who describes herself as "plain" but has five guys deeply madly in love with her. bella's only fault is the fact that she's clumsy in an effort to get idiot girls to relate to her, it's not reallly a fault people fall over.

2. harry potter is about MAGIC, hogwarts is hidden by spells and enchantments designed to keep non-magical people out. twilight however is about a mary-sue who everyone loves but the only person she can even think about being anywhere near is the one guy she a. knows nothing about and b. is in a huge amount of danger from.

3. magic words in harry potter are based on latin, lumos - luminous ie. "light" or expelliarmus - expel it's not all that hard. twlight was written by a woman who has no idea how language works, she uses the same words all the time, how she ever got to be published is a complete mystery, it's like nobody even bothered to run a spellcheck over it before it went to print. that and all of the mormon crap she's stuffed into it.

4. have you even read harry potter, the entire series is based around the idea that love can drag you through the hardest times. harry potter himself has more emotion crammed into him that stephanie meyer has even heard of. she uses the same things all the time, edward is gone bella sad, edward here bella happy. there's no reason or explanation of any other characters feeling through the entire series, it's all about bella being a radar as to whether edward is around or not.

5. that just shows that smeyer can't come up with her own ideas, harry potter is a completely original twist on the old "good vs. evil" story.

also, bella is a horrible example to the girls who read twilight, she has no personality or life separate from edward. it's like telling little girls that they have to shut up and live for their husbands. it's awful "

**I do believe that's it. You know, I read these stupid Twi-Posts, then I read things from people like this. It gives me hope for the future. I hope you enjoyed reading, check out my two other stories **_**and**_** parody of Twilight. Have an excellent day!(:**

**Hello! Many people [9?] decided to take time out of their lives to review my...review. Which really couldn't make me happier. So I'd like to honor those that did with these responses to their responses to my review! [Fun, eh?]**

alexfrkncullenpotter:

I personally don't think it's a waste of my time. Seeing as I have no homework and I'm on holiday break, I think improving my typing and writing skills is an excellent way to spend my time. I don't recall saying that all people who like Twilight are idiots, I'm friends with plenty of people who are and I think they're all very intelligent people. As for my hobbies, I'm sorry if I didn't mention it in there, but I have read the series seeing as I used to like the books. Honestly though, that's a very well thought out argument. I'm a bit of a spelling freak, but hey, maybe you were in a rush. It's also very nice for you to read at a college level for being thirteen. I'm not sure if that was supposed to impress me, but it did, slightly. I'd like to point out though that I'm also thirteen. I'm taking my SAT in January. I figured I'd write this out though because you spent so much time on your review(or maybe it just looks lengthy on my iPod. Not quite sure.)

Vamp or wolf-luv em both:

I never meant to say that all the girls who read Twilight are brainless idiots, and I'm sorry if my work (particularly the title, it seems) made it seem that way. But I'm glad it made you laugh!

AliceCullen3:

Thanks for taking the time to review. As to what I have to say about ''that", I say I'm happy you like HP more.

CHAD_and_SONNY_forever:

Hi! It's very nice of you to take the time to write such a detailed review. I really admire you for that. I understand if you think magic is babyish. I used to not like HP either. Also, no matter what my reviews say, I think it's amazing that you gained confidence from the books. Really, that's great for you. I like to think that I'm not very dense but hey, maybe I came off as dense to you. Thanks for taking the time to review and coming up with a solid argument!

Everyone else: If you'd like to have your username typed out, PM me and I'll change that for you. But thanks so much for taking the time to review, and I'm really glad that I could make you laugh!(:

-Ania  
**  
**


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